Perspective is defined as a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. We all have our own perspective and use it to react or respond to everything we encounter. Our perspective is usually based on our experiences; our background knowledge. The problem with that, is that none of us have experienced everything there is to experience in life. This fact leaves us sometimes lacking the ability or forethought to try to see another's perspective in a situation. This is where empathy should step in to help. "Cognitive empathy" sometimes called "perspective taking" refers to our ability to identify and understand other peoples' emotions. These traits are so important for teachers to understand and use when dealing with struggling students.
I have the luxury (although I wouldn't refer to it as a luxury on some days) of having two perspectives when dealing with students. I have the perspective of being a mom to a child who struggles with issues of perseverating thoughts, hyper-focus, and sensory seeking issues. I also have the perspective of what it's like to deal with students in a classroom who also deal with these same issues. What I can tell you is the behavior that your dealing with in the classroom, no matter how frustrating, is nothing compared to what the students themselves are dealing with. Understanding that fact is the key to empowering you, as their teacher, to become a person of safety, a resource for comfort, a person who can help redirect them so that their day becomes one of success. What you absolutely should not be is another stress in their already stressful life! Who needs that?
So here is one way you can help...put yourself in their shoes or their family's shoes. Here's my story:
I am the mother to a child on the autism spectrum. She is high functioning. We have spent the majority of her life using "teachable moments" to guide her in her social development. She has come so far that most people, unless told, would probably never identify her as a child on the spectrum. That's great right? Yes and no. She still deals with perseverating thoughts and sensory issues. It is not always a daily struggle but when it is, IT IS ALL CONSUMING! Stuck-in-set perseveration, which is the uncontrolled and extended maintenance of a thought, activity, emotion, problem-solving strategy, or topic of conversation is what we deal with the most in our house. We see our highly functioning daughter become consumed with thoughts that literally take over her life. She can't sleep, can't eat, can't socialize normally. It is literally all consuming. As her parents we too are affected because we are up all night talking with her, helping to redirect her thinking, comforting her. It takes over our lives until it leaves us, usually as fast at it entered our lives. The problem is that to the outside world, teachers included, it is a hidden problem. She is most likely not going to let her friends or teachers know that she is dealing with this. She is old enough now to understand that this is not 'normal' behavior that the rest of her peers deal with. It is in these situations that perspective and empathy from her teachers is needed most. 'This too shall pass," is our family motto. It's our words of comfort. We live and breathe by them. However, while it's passing we need support, prayers, and people that are in our daughter's life to use their perspective taking skills to be a light in her dark moments.
In a perfect world our students' families would inform us when situations like these are going on, but it's not a perfect world and usually it's up to us, as the teacher/detective, to figure out why our student is sleeping in class, not turning in their assignments, more forgetful, angry/reactive or less focused than usual. When we see these things happening we should immediately recognize it for what it really is...a cry for help. It's not a behavior problem issue most of the time. Most times it is a social emotional problem. When we become empathetic, compassionate, and most importantly, FLEXIBLE, we instantly become a huge help to our struggling students and their families. There is nothing more difficult than watching your child go through something like this, so be a resource for your students and their families, a place of help. If you don't know what your dealing with, or how to deal with it, ask your fellow educators. I can guarantee you that in most cases there is someone in your building or school district that has the perspective you're looking for.
~Liz Savage
mom & teacher
I have the luxury (although I wouldn't refer to it as a luxury on some days) of having two perspectives when dealing with students. I have the perspective of being a mom to a child who struggles with issues of perseverating thoughts, hyper-focus, and sensory seeking issues. I also have the perspective of what it's like to deal with students in a classroom who also deal with these same issues. What I can tell you is the behavior that your dealing with in the classroom, no matter how frustrating, is nothing compared to what the students themselves are dealing with. Understanding that fact is the key to empowering you, as their teacher, to become a person of safety, a resource for comfort, a person who can help redirect them so that their day becomes one of success. What you absolutely should not be is another stress in their already stressful life! Who needs that?
So here is one way you can help...put yourself in their shoes or their family's shoes. Here's my story:
I am the mother to a child on the autism spectrum. She is high functioning. We have spent the majority of her life using "teachable moments" to guide her in her social development. She has come so far that most people, unless told, would probably never identify her as a child on the spectrum. That's great right? Yes and no. She still deals with perseverating thoughts and sensory issues. It is not always a daily struggle but when it is, IT IS ALL CONSUMING! Stuck-in-set perseveration, which is the uncontrolled and extended maintenance of a thought, activity, emotion, problem-solving strategy, or topic of conversation is what we deal with the most in our house. We see our highly functioning daughter become consumed with thoughts that literally take over her life. She can't sleep, can't eat, can't socialize normally. It is literally all consuming. As her parents we too are affected because we are up all night talking with her, helping to redirect her thinking, comforting her. It takes over our lives until it leaves us, usually as fast at it entered our lives. The problem is that to the outside world, teachers included, it is a hidden problem. She is most likely not going to let her friends or teachers know that she is dealing with this. She is old enough now to understand that this is not 'normal' behavior that the rest of her peers deal with. It is in these situations that perspective and empathy from her teachers is needed most. 'This too shall pass," is our family motto. It's our words of comfort. We live and breathe by them. However, while it's passing we need support, prayers, and people that are in our daughter's life to use their perspective taking skills to be a light in her dark moments.
In a perfect world our students' families would inform us when situations like these are going on, but it's not a perfect world and usually it's up to us, as the teacher/detective, to figure out why our student is sleeping in class, not turning in their assignments, more forgetful, angry/reactive or less focused than usual. When we see these things happening we should immediately recognize it for what it really is...a cry for help. It's not a behavior problem issue most of the time. Most times it is a social emotional problem. When we become empathetic, compassionate, and most importantly, FLEXIBLE, we instantly become a huge help to our struggling students and their families. There is nothing more difficult than watching your child go through something like this, so be a resource for your students and their families, a place of help. If you don't know what your dealing with, or how to deal with it, ask your fellow educators. I can guarantee you that in most cases there is someone in your building or school district that has the perspective you're looking for.
~Liz Savage
mom & teacher
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