The classroom is so quiet...everyone sitting in rows. There is another look shot my way...a comment to 'please stop' said in my direction. I can feel the stress rising in my body. I know...I know. Later, I will place the note in my backpack. A note that will explain to my parents that I continuously made distracting noises even though I had been asked to stop.
I look up to see a girl two desks in front of me looking at me with a smirk. She is now giggling as she mimics me. She looks at the girl across the aisle from her. They are both giggling now. My face is red. I feel hot. I didn't know, I want to say to them both. They don't understand...I don't understand.
The stress is building...it's getting worse. Another comment, another look... "I'm trying!" I want to yell at the top of my lungs. Please stop looking at me, talking to me about it...you don't realize it, but you're making it worse.
I'd like to say I won't do it again, but in reality, I don't realize I'm doing it. The noises...the weird faces...it's part of me...I don't know another way...
Almost thirty-three years have passed and I still remember how it felt to be misunderstood. I was a child...a child who would later be an adult and would finally be diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. I had zero coping skills...not one strategy to help me deal with my tics.
I was "that" student. The student who disrupts the learning, the one who, for all appearances, seems to be intentionally distracting or playing around. The unfortunate part of this story is that it wasn't intentional at all.
My experiences as "that" student have been a blessing in my teaching career. I am keenly observant when it comes to my students. I go first to the 'why' behind the behavior because I know what it's like to be misunderstood.
August 2016...
The classroom is full of excitement! A week has passed since the first day of school and I am overjoyed with my new class, but there is a clear and present concern for one of my students. There is a huge behavior problem and I am taking notes daily to determine if there is a pattern to the behavior...a reason for the explosions, the anger, the breaking down. Nothing so far. I won't give up, there has to be a why...
Nine weeks have passed and our classroom has become a little family. We take care of each other and look out for one another. My little one, the one I was concerned about, is struggling. A team has been created...a support group consisting of myself, administrators, the counselor, and the student's mother. His peers are such a blessing to him. They reach out to him, include him, and most importantly seem to understand his needs. They love him.
We are using a behavior chart to keep track of the behaviors. He is earning "honey pots" for small sections of the day. He has to show "honey choices" (kind, respectful choices) in order to earn his honey pots. If he earns three honey pots by lunch then he is given a 15-minute reward. If he earns three more honey pots by the afternoon recess then another 15-minute reward is given. I have introduced social stories to help him find better strategies to deal with his emotions. It seems to be working.
Academics are low and honestly not my main focus with him. He is struggling emotionally and behaviorally so until we meet that need, the academics will have to be sprinkled in when I can. I am confident the academics will come, but only after we deal with the other issues first. I know he is misunderstood. I feel a connection with him. I see his behavior as something he doesn't quite understand himself. My heart breaks for him...
Twelve weeks have passed. Big changes have taken place and my student is able to go longer periods of time without having 'melt downs.' He is still struggling, but we are hopeful.
Eighteen weeks have passed since the first day of school. So much has changed. My troubled student is now much more stable. Because of the support system we set in place, he is happy and able to function. His academics have taken off and he has made huge gains. It is amazing to see just how much his behavior was affecting his academic performance. He is by all accounts a successful student now. He is forging relationships with his peers that are meaningful. His behavior chart has been reduced to just three honey pots earned for the whole day. He has learned coping skills. I know we made a difference in his life. We searched for the why behind the behavior and believed in him...we sought to understand him. The difference it made in his life is remarkable.
Our struggles and experiences impact our lives. I remember many moments of wishing the person who was unhappy with my choices knew the why behind them. I couldn't communicate why I made the noises I did or the weird faces. To be honest, most of the time I was completely unaware that I was doing either of those things until they were brought to my attention.
Most of our students are just like I was...at a loss for how to communicate what is going on inside their little world. They want to please you, but they just don't have adequate strategies to be able to do so. That's where we have to step in and help them. Take the time to get to know them, to develop behavior plans, social stories, and create support groups to help you be able to do all of the above. Remember, no one is asking you to do this all on your own! Use the resources you have available to you. Discover the why... so that you can be the one to finally understand them.
I look up to see a girl two desks in front of me looking at me with a smirk. She is now giggling as she mimics me. She looks at the girl across the aisle from her. They are both giggling now. My face is red. I feel hot. I didn't know, I want to say to them both. They don't understand...I don't understand.
The stress is building...it's getting worse. Another comment, another look... "I'm trying!" I want to yell at the top of my lungs. Please stop looking at me, talking to me about it...you don't realize it, but you're making it worse.
I'd like to say I won't do it again, but in reality, I don't realize I'm doing it. The noises...the weird faces...it's part of me...I don't know another way...
Almost thirty-three years have passed and I still remember how it felt to be misunderstood. I was a child...a child who would later be an adult and would finally be diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. I had zero coping skills...not one strategy to help me deal with my tics.I was "that" student. The student who disrupts the learning, the one who, for all appearances, seems to be intentionally distracting or playing around. The unfortunate part of this story is that it wasn't intentional at all.
My experiences as "that" student have been a blessing in my teaching career. I am keenly observant when it comes to my students. I go first to the 'why' behind the behavior because I know what it's like to be misunderstood.
August 2016...
The classroom is full of excitement! A week has passed since the first day of school and I am overjoyed with my new class, but there is a clear and present concern for one of my students. There is a huge behavior problem and I am taking notes daily to determine if there is a pattern to the behavior...a reason for the explosions, the anger, the breaking down. Nothing so far. I won't give up, there has to be a why...
Nine weeks have passed and our classroom has become a little family. We take care of each other and look out for one another. My little one, the one I was concerned about, is struggling. A team has been created...a support group consisting of myself, administrators, the counselor, and the student's mother. His peers are such a blessing to him. They reach out to him, include him, and most importantly seem to understand his needs. They love him.
We are using a behavior chart to keep track of the behaviors. He is earning "honey pots" for small sections of the day. He has to show "honey choices" (kind, respectful choices) in order to earn his honey pots. If he earns three honey pots by lunch then he is given a 15-minute reward. If he earns three more honey pots by the afternoon recess then another 15-minute reward is given. I have introduced social stories to help him find better strategies to deal with his emotions. It seems to be working.
Academics are low and honestly not my main focus with him. He is struggling emotionally and behaviorally so until we meet that need, the academics will have to be sprinkled in when I can. I am confident the academics will come, but only after we deal with the other issues first. I know he is misunderstood. I feel a connection with him. I see his behavior as something he doesn't quite understand himself. My heart breaks for him...
Twelve weeks have passed. Big changes have taken place and my student is able to go longer periods of time without having 'melt downs.' He is still struggling, but we are hopeful.
Eighteen weeks have passed since the first day of school. So much has changed. My troubled student is now much more stable. Because of the support system we set in place, he is happy and able to function. His academics have taken off and he has made huge gains. It is amazing to see just how much his behavior was affecting his academic performance. He is by all accounts a successful student now. He is forging relationships with his peers that are meaningful. His behavior chart has been reduced to just three honey pots earned for the whole day. He has learned coping skills. I know we made a difference in his life. We searched for the why behind the behavior and believed in him...we sought to understand him. The difference it made in his life is remarkable.
Our struggles and experiences impact our lives. I remember many moments of wishing the person who was unhappy with my choices knew the why behind them. I couldn't communicate why I made the noises I did or the weird faces. To be honest, most of the time I was completely unaware that I was doing either of those things until they were brought to my attention.
Most of our students are just like I was...at a loss for how to communicate what is going on inside their little world. They want to please you, but they just don't have adequate strategies to be able to do so. That's where we have to step in and help them. Take the time to get to know them, to develop behavior plans, social stories, and create support groups to help you be able to do all of the above. Remember, no one is asking you to do this all on your own! Use the resources you have available to you. Discover the why... so that you can be the one to finally understand them.
~Liz
@SavageLizabeth
Thank you for your post.
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